Number 3 | June 18, 2003

The Holy Kiss

Five times in the New Testament, believers are told to greet each other with a kiss. Paul calls it a holy kiss (Romans 16:16, 1 Corinthians 16:20, 2 Corinthians 13:12, and 1 Thessalonians 5:26). Peter calls it a kiss of love (1 Peter 5:14). Of course, greeting with a kiss was as commonplace in the First Century as it is in the eastern Mediterranean today, so the kiss itself was nothing extraordinary. But what distinguished a holy (Greek, hagios) kiss?
The New Testament Greek word for kiss is philema, which is derived from phileo, to love, but it is important to distinguish the kind of love. There are three Greek words for love: agapeo – selfless love, eros – romantic love, and phileo – brotherly love. Eros is not used in the New Testament. Agapeo (noun, agape) is the kind of love God shows for us and Christians are usually called to practice toward others. Phileo is the cordial love of a friend or relative. So there is nothing inherently erotic about a philema.

In Pagan Rome and the Early Christians (Indiana University Press, 1986), author Stephen Benko devotes an entire chapter to the kiss. He suggests that the origin of the holy kiss may be related to John 20-21-23: 21So Jesus said to them again, “Peace be with you; as the Father has sent Me, I also send you.” 22And when He had said this, He breathed on them and said* to them, “Receive the Holy Spirit. 23“If you forgive the sins of any, their sins have been forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they have been retained.” Similarly, Jesus’ “kiss” seems to be related to Genesis 1:7: “Then the LORD God formed man of dust from the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living being.” Just as God breathed life into the first man, Jesus breathed the Holy Spirit into His disciples. The holy kiss, then, may have been practiced with the belief that it passed the Holy Spirit between believers.

If that is true, it should be obvious that the holy kiss involved mouth-to-mouth contact. Apparently, by the late second century, the holy kiss began to be abused by some, prompting Clement of Alexandria to write, “And if we are called to the kingdom of God, let us walk worthy of the kingdom, loving God and our neighbour. But love is not proved by a kiss, but by kindly feeling. But there are those, that do nothing but make the churches resound with a kiss, not having love itself within. For this very thing, the shameless use of a kiss, which ought to be mystic, occasions foul suspicions and evil reports.” (Paedagogus, Book 3, Chapter 11)

There is no evidence during the apostolic period (New Testament times) that the holy kiss was considered a means of transmitting the Holy Spirit. Error may have crept in during the second century, but the Apostles certainly understood that the Spirit was granted by God, not transmitted by humans. In some ways, the holy kiss seems comparable to the Lord’s Supper—a remembrance of Christ Jesus.

However the holy kiss was viewed, at least we can conclude that Christians were called to greet one another in a way distinctly different than normal—with more love, enthusiasm, and meaning.

There are Christian groups that have built entire theologies and liturgies around things mentioned only once. Why don’t we practice the holy kiss today? Actually, some groups do still practice some form of the holy kiss—the Apostolic Christian Church and the Armenian Church, for example—and it has found its way into
the Eucharistic liturgies of some “high” Christian faiths. But by and large, you don’t see most Christian groups greeting one another with a full kiss on the lips, or even a quick buss on the cheek. Kissing just isn’t a culturally acceptable greeting in most of the West.

But there’s no reason we can’t apply the principle of greeting one another with more love, enthusiasm, and meaning than non-Christians do. After all, we’re told that others will know us by our love. Some have suggested substituting a warm handshake, but somehow it’s hard to see how a handshake can be very personal. More appropriately, others recommend a holy hug. That may not carry the same meaning the early church apparently believed about the kiss, but it gets the primary job done.

(The Role of Culture)

ET&N subscriber Rich from Illinois wonders if the express “kiss-off” has any tradition in the church. I could find no such reference in any source I have or on the web. Anyone know the derivation of the expression?

Some years ago, my wife and I changed congregations after a church split. Our previous congregation had been far more outwardly expressive in greeting one another. Hugs were the order of the day. Our new congregation, while having many wonderful characteristics, was far less expressive. A couple of months after we joined, I had the opportunity to have a role at a men’s retreat. I decided to talk about the things I missed about our previous church, and one was the friendly hugging that had been common. It was as if a veil had been lifted, and people immediately overcame their hesitancy toward showing emotion and their Western feelings about personal space. Slowly, outward expressions of genuine love spread through the congregation. I was glad to have been an instrument for that.

If your congregation is stiff and formal, talk about it. If there is genuine love between your local brothers and sisters, many will be delighted to have the barriers broken down!

NEXT ISSUE: Putting on your “Sunday Best”

Note: Cartoon used by permission of Jeff Larson, www.thebackpew.com (yes, I told him about the incorrect citation)
© Richard M. Soule, 2003 Unlimited copy and distribution permission is hereby granted on the condition that this copyright notice is included.